The Blooming of a Lotus Read online

  physical pain, I breathe in.

  pain as physical

  Knowing that this is no

  Only physical pain

  more than a physical pain,

  I breathe out.

  4.

  Aware of the state of my mind,

  Aware of mind

  I breathe in.

  Smiling to the state of my mind,

  Smiling

  I breathe out.

  5.

  Experiencing the pain in my mind,

  Experiencing

  I breathe in.

  mind’s pain

  Smiling to the pain in my mind,

  Smiling

  I breathe out.

  6.

  Experiencing the pain of fear in me,

  Experiencing fear

  I breathe in.

  Smiling to the pain of fear,

  Smiling

  I breathe out.

  7.

  Experiencing the feeling of insecurity

  Experiencing

  in me, I breathe in.

  insecurity

  Smiling to the feeling of insecurity,

  Smiling

  I breathe out.

  8.

  Experiencing the feeling of sadness

  Experiencing

  in me, I breathe in.

  sadness

  Smiling to the feeling of sadness,

  Smiling

  I breathe out.

  9.

  Experiencing the feeling of anger

  Experiencing anger

  in me, I breathe in.

  Smiling to the feeling of anger,

  Smiling

  I breathe out.

  10.

  Experiencing the feeling of jealousy,

  Experiencing

  I breathe in.

  jealousy

  Smiling to the feeling of jealousy,

  Smiling

  I breathe out.

  11.

  Experiencing the feeling of attachment,

  Experiencing

  I breathe in.

  attachment

  Smiling to the feeling of attachment,

  Smiling

  I breathe out.

  12.

  Experiencing the feeling of joy,

  Experiencing joy

  I breathe in.

  Smiling to the feeling of joy,

  Smiling

  I breathe out.

  13.

  Experiencing the joy of freedom,

  Joy of freedom

  I breathe in.

  Smiling to the joy of freedom,

  Smiling

  I breathe out.

  14.

  Experiencing the joy of release

  Joy of release

  of tension, I breathe in.

  Smiling to the joy of release

  Smiling

  of tension, I breathe out.

  15.

  Experiencing the joy of letting go,

  Joy of abandoning

  I breathe in.

  Smiling to the joy of letting go,

  Smiling

  I breathe out.

  16.

  Experiencing the neutral feeling

  Neutral feeling

  in me, I breathe in.

  Smiling to the neutral feeling,

  Smiling

  I breathe out.

  This exercise is to help us be in touch with all the feelings that arise in our minds. The feelings are either pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. We must learn to recognize, acknowledge, and welcome each one and, after that, to look into its impermanence. A feeling or an emotion arises, persists, and then disappears. Mindfulness enables us to be calm throughout the appearance and disappearance of feelings. Buddha taught us not to be attached to feelings but also not to push them away. To acknowledge feelings with an even mind is the very best way; while we are acknowledging them in mindfulness, slowly, slowly we come to a deep realization of their nature. It is that insight that will enable us to be free and at ease as we face each feeling.

  Feelings of fear, anxiety, anger, jealousy, and attachment are often unpleasant or painful. The steady practice of mindfulness will help us to acknowledge the painful feeling whenever it appears. In this way, we can avoid being drowned by waves of feelings, however powerful they may be. Sitting in a stable, upright, and relaxed position, we should bring our attention to the part of the abdomen just below the navel. From the rising and falling of the abdomen, we should become aware of our in-breath and out-breath for the duration of ten or fifteen minutes. In that time, peace of mind will be gradually restored, and we shall not be blown away by gales of emotion. As we continue to acknowledge and look deeply, we shall see the essence of each feeling and emotion as it arises.

  We should acknowledge and look deeply at pleasant feelings as well as at painful ones, for states of mind born from freedom, release, and letting go are healthy and nourishing. Acknowledged in mindfulness, these states of mind are able to develop and last. Mindful breathing is the wholesome food for these feelings, which are so necessary in our lives.

  States of mind are always accompanied by an object of perception. Freedom is freedom from something, and letting go is letting go of something. The meditator should identify the object that he is letting go in order to experience the mental formation and accompanying feeling fully.

  A neutral feeling is neither pleasant nor painful. But when such feelings are recognized in mindfulness, they usually become pleasant feelings. This is one of the benefits of insight meditation. When you have a toothache the feeling is very unpleasant, and when you do not have a toothache, you usually have a neutral feeling. However, if you can be mindful of the non-toothache, the non-toothache will become a feeling of peace and joy. Mindfulness gives rise to and nourishes happiness.

  Exercise Two

  Looking Deeply, Healing

  1.

  Aware of my body, I breathe in.

  Aware of body

  Smiling to my body, I breathe out.

  Smiling

  2.

  Looking at the roots of the pain

  Roots of

  in my body, I breathe in.

  physical pain

  Smiling to the roots of the pain

  Smiling

  in my body, I breathe out.

  3.

  Aware of the state of my mind,

  Aware of mind

  I breathe in.

  Smiling to the state of my mind,

  Smiling

  I breathe out.

  4.

  Looking at the roots of the pain

  Roots of

  in my mind, I breathe in.

  mind’s pain

  Smiling to the roots of the pain in

  Smiling

  my mind, I breathe out.

  5.

  Looking at the roots of the pain

  Roots of fear

  of fear, I breathe in.

  Smiling to the roots of the pain

  Smiling

  of fear, I breathe out.

  6.

  Looking at the roots of the feeling

  Roots of insecurity

  of insecurity, I breathe in.

  Smiling to the roots of the feeling

  Smiling

  of insecurity, I breathe out.

  7.

  Looking at the roots of the feeling

  Roots of sadness

  of sadness, I breathe in.

  Smiling to the roots of the feeling

  Smiling

  of sadness, I breathe out.

  8.

  Looking at the roots of the feeling

  Roots of anger

  of anger, I breathe in.

  Smiling to the roots of the feeling

  Smiling

  of anger, I breathe out.

  9.

  Looking at the roots of the feeling

  Roots of jealousy

  of jealousy, I breathe in.

  Smiling to the roots of
the feeling

  Smiling

  of jealousy, I breathe out.

  10.

  Looking at the roots of the feeling

  Roots of attachment

  of attachment, I breathe in.

  Smiling to the roots of the feeling

  Smiling

  of attachment, I breathe out.

  11.

  Looking at the roots of the feeling

  Roots of

  of being caught, I breathe in.

  being caught

  Smiling to the roots of the feeling

  Smiling

  of being caught, I breathe out.

  12.

  Looking at the roots of the feeling

  Roots of joy

  of joy, I breathe in.

  Smiling to the roots of the feeling

  Smiling

  of joy, I breathe out.

  13.

  Looking at the roots of the joy

  Roots of joy

  of freedom, I breathe in.

  of freedom

  Smiling to the roots of the joy

  Smiling

  of freedom, I breathe out.

  14.

  Looking at the roots of the joy

  Roots of joy

  of relaxation, I breathe in.

  of relaxation

  Smiling to the roots of the joy

  Smiling

  of relaxation, I breathe out.

  15.

  Looking at the roots of the joy

  Roots of joy

  of letting go, I breathe in.

  of abandoning

  Smiling to the roots of the joy

  Smiling

  of letting go, I breathe out.

  16.

  Looking at the roots of the

  Roots of

  neutral feeling, I breathe in.

  neutral feeling

  Smiling to the roots of the

  Smiling

  neutral feeling, I breathe out.

  To oppose, brush aside, or deny pain in our body or mind only makes that feeling more intense. In the preceding exercises, we have practiced acknowledging and accepting painful feelings. Our painful feelings are not other than ourselves, or to put it more precisely, they are a part of us. To deny them is to deny our very selves. The moment we accept these feelings, we begin to feel more peaceful, and the pain begins to lose some of its intensity. To smile to our pain is the wisest, the most intelligent, the most beautiful thing we can do. There is no better way.

  Every time we acknowledge a feeling of pain and make its acquaintance, we come in closer contact with ourselves. Bit by bit we look deeply into the substance and the roots of that pain. Fear, insecurity, anger, sadness, jealousy, and attachment form blocks of feelings and thoughts within us (in Sanskrit, samyojana, or “internal formation”), and we need time and opportunity to acknowledge them and to look into them. The mindfulness of breathing does the work of making painful feelings bearable. Mindfulness recognizes the presence of the feelings, acknowledges them, soothes them, and enables the work of observation to continue until the substance of the block is seen. Mindfulness is the only way to transform it. All the seeds of pain are present within us, and if we live in forgetfulness, the seeds of pain will be watered every day. They will grow strong, and the internal blocks will become more solid. Conscious breathing transforms internal formations of painful feelings.

  Internal formations can also be seen as “fetters” or “knots” of suffering deep in our consciousness. The knots are created when we react emotionally to what others say and do, and also when we repeatedly suppress our awareness of both pleasant and unpleasant feelings and thoughts. The fetters that bind us can be identified as any painful feeling or addictive pleasant feeling, such as anger, hatred, pride, doubt, sorrow, or attachment. They are forged by confusion and a lack of understanding, by our misperceptions regarding our selves and our reality. By practicing mindfulness, we are able to recognize and transform unpleasant feelings and emotions when they first arise, so they do not become fetters. When we do not let ourselves react to the words and actions of others, when we are able to keep our minds calm and peaceful, the fetters of internal formations cannot be made, and we will experience greater happiness and joy. Our families, friends, and associates will also benefit from our greater understanding and love.

  In our consciousness there are also the seeds of happiness, such as a loving heart, the ability to let go, joy, calm, and freedom. But these seeds need water every day or they will never thrive. When we are able to nourish these seeds with mindfulness, they will burst into bloom and offer us the flowers and fruits of happiness. This is the object of the latter part of the exercise. This exercise does not need to be practiced all at one time. It can be divided into several shorter exercises to be practiced over a long period of time, say, three to six months.

  Exercise Three

  Looking Deeply, Release

  1.

  Contemplating a person in anger,

  Angry person

  I breathe in.

  Seeing the suffering of that person,

  Suffering

  I breathe out.

  2.

  Contemplating the damage from

  Anger harms

  anger to self and others, I breathe in.

  self and others

  Seeing that anger burns and destroys

  Destroys happiness

  happiness, I breathe out.

  3.

  Seeing anger’s roots in my body,

  Anger’s

  I breathe in.

  roots in body

  Seeing anger’s roots in my

  Anger’s roots

  consciousness, I breathe out.

  in consciousness

  4.

  Seeing the roots of anger in pride

  Anger’s roots

  and ignorance, I breathe in.

  in pride and

  Smiling to my pride and ignorance,

  ignorance

  I breathe out.

  Smiling

  5.

  Seeing the angry person suffer,

  Angry person

  I breathe in.

  suffers

  Feeling compassion for the

  Feeling compassion

  angry person who suffers,

  I breathe out.

  6.

  Seeing the unfavorable environment

  Angry person

  and unhappiness of the angry

  unhappy

  person, I breathe in.

  Understanding the causes of this

  Understanding

  unhappiness, I breathe out.

  unhappiness

  7.

  Seeing myself burned by the fire

  Burned by anger

  of anger, I breathe in.

  Feeling compassion for myself

  Compassion

  burning with anger, I breathe out.

  for myself

  8.

  Knowing my anger makes me

  Anger makes

  look ugly, I breathe in.

  me ugly

  Seeing myself as the chief cause of

  I cause

  my ugliness, I breathe out.

  my ugliness

  9.

  Seeing when angry I am a burning

  I am a

  house, I breathe in.

  burning house

  Taking care of my anger and going

  Taking care

  back to myself, I breathe out.

  of myself

  10.

  Contemplating helping the angry

  Helping

  person, I breathe in.

  angry person

  Seeing myself able to help the

  Capable of

  angry person, I breathe out.

  helping

  The Buddha taught that the fire of anger can burn up everything we have done to bring happiness to ourselves and others. There is not one of us who has n
ot sown seeds of anger in his heart, and if those seeds are daily watered, they will grow rapidly and choke us and those around us.

  When we are angry, we should come back to ourselves by means of our conscious breathing. We should not look at or listen to the one we feel is making us angry and causing us to suffer. In fact, the main root of our suffering is the seed of anger in us. The other person may have said or done something unskillful or unmindful. But his unskillful words or actions arise from his own suffering. He may just be seeking some relief, hoping to survive. The excessive suffering of one person will very often overflow on to others. A person who is suffering needs our help, not our anger. We come to see this when we examine our anger through our breathing.